I am a stay at home mom. I spend a lot of time with my children, my two little girls- currently 3.5 and 1. We get to do many fun things with each other through out the week- park dates, lunch dates, library story time, play dates, playing games, snuggling up during a movie. But I have found something profoundly beautiful about the specific time spent tucking each of my girls in at night.

Blake and I have gotten insanely lucky in the children and sleep department. Charlie and Tessa have both slept through the night since three months and both in their crib sleeping through the night from six months. And to make us feel even more like we hit the jackpot, Charlie put herself to bed most nights from about six months to I’d say around 2.5 years. Our bedtime routine with her for those couple of years looked like jammies, teeth brushing and reading a few stories together as a family (me, Blake and her) in a big rocking chair we had in their nurseries. The routine would change slightly in different phases- sometimes she would want a song and sometimes she would want a snuggle with each of us separately before laying down. But once we laid her down in her crib? She just went to bed. As an infant, we would put her in her crib awake and she would fall asleep on her own. She didn’t require rocking to sleep or sleeping in our bed and then transferring her- it was always just a pleasant, mostly easy thing. And now Tessa is the exact same way. And they both sleep twelve hours through the night.

I tell you this not to brag (I know this is not the case for many, many families) but just to give you a snapshot of our little family. Tessa is now about 14 months and the routine is very much still that- jammies, stories, lay down, night night. But since Charlie has been about 2.5 there has been a much more involved routine and much more time spent tucking her in. Of course we still do jammies, teeth brushing, stories and all that. But Blake and I both really lean into this time as special, almost stolen moments with our child. It has been clear that in the past year she has needed this time with us. She wouldn’t let us go like she used to. She needed more snuggles. She needed more story telling. She needed more talking about the day. And we let her dictate how this went- right or wrong. But she would say she wanted me to lay with her first. And then Daddy would come in.

Trust me- I get it, bedtime can sometimes feel like a sweet gift at the end of the day. Finally, quiet and rest time has arrived. Finally, you can catch your breath. I’m tired at the end of the day. I’m looking forward to getting in to MY bed and reading or looking at my phone or watching a show with Blake. Any parent understands this. But rather than rush tucking Charlie in or just going through the motions for the sake of getting to that final stage of the day, I try to relish this time. I soak it up. I even drag it out sometimes. From Charlie’s point of view, it’s one-on-one time with each parent completely distraction free- we never, ever have our phones during this time and we’re cuddled up in her bunk with just her- no dishes to do, no little sister to tend to. Just me and her, in a present moment.

Sometimes we talk about the day or talk about what we have to look forward to tomorrow. Sometimes we play the drums on each other’s backs. Sometimes it’s truly silly time where we tickle and giggle and then I “shake the sillies out” of her arms and legs one by one. Sometimes we read an extra story. Sometimes we do shadow puppets on the wall. Sometimes we just lay and cuddle. And Blake and her have their own special time- Daddy does “Once a ponce a time” as Charlie calls it. He tells all sorts of elaborate stories and dives into little worlds that only they share.

In the 3.5 age we’re in now, sometimes this routine isn’t enough. She’ll crawl out of bed and insist she has to go potty for the third time or that there’s a sea monster in her room. Luckily, a couple of extra minutes of snuggles usually does the trick.

But there have been so many moments during this bedtime routine that I have caught myself thinking, “This is it. This is life. This is where the magic is.” Sometimes it has even made me tear up, unbeknown to my sweet girl. In this fast world, bedtime is our time where life stands still. The present reigns. We’re not worried about our to do list. We say yes to everything. Yes to more stories, yes to more snuggles. Yes to this precious time. I know for a fact that my relationship with Charlie has grown in these moments. I can feel it happening. It’s when she lays down and says, “I love you, Mommy” because she can feel it too. She appreciates this time we savor at the end of the day.

As Tessy grows, I look forward to this time with her too. In fact, I can’t wait. Not that I want her to grown up ANY faster, but it’s so fun to think about all the special little bedtime games and moments we’ll have together that are just ours. Just our little world together. And I know that someday when my girls don’t need this time anymore, I will be incredibly grateful for all that precious time. And I will always remember those giggles and those snuggles and those beautiful bedtime moments.