The Wildflowers

Your Feelings Are Yours | A Poem on Parenting Hard Emotions

October 8, 2020 by Rebecca Leave a Comment

The girls and I were driving around the other day running a couple of errands. This usually goes really well. We almost always turn the music up, roll the windows down and dance. And talk, and point out cloud shapes. Or play pirate and mermaids….where Charlie pretends to be a pirate captain getting the mermaid (me) in the front seat. We took coffee to Daddy and all was good. There was laughing, there was sunshine. But as parenting goes, that was one moment. And the next, we’re stuck in line between two cars at the Walgreens drive through picking up a prescription. Charlie tells me she needs to go potty. Can you hold it? I ask…We’ll be home in a few minutes, I say. I’m going potty mommy, she says. So the poor thing couldn’t hold it and had to sit in her now soaked car seat while we were stuck in line. And this made her really, really upset…she was crying, Tessy was crying, I was crying (kidding). But Charlie is incredibly sensitive to thinking I might be upset with her. She is now 3.5 and she’s in the midst of figuring out her emotions. I find this awesome. How powerful to witness a human literally growing and figuring herself out. Of course I wasn’t upset with her- I felt awful for not being able to provide a potty for her when she needed it. But such is life and that’s how the day goes sometimes. Nothing bath time and laughing at the craziness can’t fix.

But she kept saying, “Mommy, I won’t cry, I won’t cry.” “You can always, ALWAYS cry, my love,” I kept repeating. There has been a lot of teaching lately that emotions and feelings are good. That they are your right as a human to have. No matter what they are. There are times when I set boundaries about snacks, or bedtime, or treats. And she’ll tell me she’s angry at me. Good! Learn that emotion. You are allowed to be angry. But I am allowed to still set the boundary. And then the teaching goes on to talk about even through anger, it’s important to still be respectful.

I find myself saying little lines to her throughout the day and sometimes putting things into beautiful words can help bring the message to light in a more powerful way.

I am a huge poetry reader and Charlie sees me reading it all the time. She often asks me to read some of my books out loud to her, which I love. I used to write when I was younger a lot and my brain often thinks in little lines -sometimes I write them down. So, a poem I wrote and have been reading to her so she knows that feelings are good. They belong to YOU and they are yours to feel and process. And you have every right to feel whatever you want.

Your Feelings Are Yours

Today was a hard day
You were mad you were angry you were sad you were glad
Tomorrow we’ll try again

It’s okay to feel
It’s okay to be
Letting out feelings makes you feel free

The thing about feelings is that they’re all your own
You’re allowed to be all those things

You can feel how you feel
Your feelings are real
So listen to what they say

Don’t push them down
Let them be heard
So they don’t just sit in your heart

Say them out loud
Give them a voice
But then be done with them for the night

In the morning we’ll wake
And give thanks for the day
And see if those feelings have gone

For yesterday was hard
You were mad you were angry you were sad you were glad
And tomorrow we’ll try again

Summer Solstice Retreat with The Tea Huntress

October 3, 2020 by Rebecca Leave a Comment

Before Tessy was born, Charlie and I had weekly dates at our favorite tea spot in town, Firepot Chai in the 12 South neighborhood here in Nashville. I remember being soooo excited when I saw it go in. I am a MASSIVE tea lover. I have always loved the ceremony of it, the comfort of it and how healing it always seems.

If you haven’t been to the shop- you must. It’s the most beautiful little space with a great tea selection and gorgeous handmade treasures. Sarah, the founder of the shop who goes by The Tea Huntress, was working one day, and I got to connect with her and hear a little bit about her story behind the store. When I was about seven months pregnant with Tessa, I went to her “Ritual Workshop” at the store one night- an hour of experiencing the ritual of tea and a little intro into the world of positive thinking and manifesting (my love language). I felt such a soul connection to Sarah so when she sent out that she was having this Summer Solstice gathering, I signed up on the spot. I’ll be in the presence of her light and soul goodness anytime!

10 of us gathered on the Summer Solstice at West Glow Farm in Kingston Springs, TN for an afternoon to reconnect, renew, rest, dream, hope, inspire, celebrate and just be. The farm served as the most beautiful backdrop for a day to let nature heal us and an opportunity to slow down and listen. To let the beauty of the trees and the hills be our guide that day. As a mom of two littles, it is a true privilege to have the time to sit down with like-minded women and share our souls. Women who also recognize that it is important, and crucial, to take time for ourselves and nurture our own beings in every which way. And I loooooove when I get to chat healthy food and yoga and meditation and oils and meditation and manifesting and soul work with other gals and they get me! As one woman said there that day, “I love being in the company of other witches!” Same, girl, same.

We drank Sarah’s lovely tea. We shared our hearts. We wrote down our dreams and goals for the future. We ate the most stunning organic lunch made by Kassia of Infused Holistic Kitchen- a holistic nutritionalist and herbalist. We did yoga in the barn. We meditated to the most beautiful sound bath. We experienced Sarah’s mesmerizing tea ritual. And we added a day of stopping to love ourselves and look inward alongside others wanting to nurture their spiritual paths to our lives. Anytime you get an opportunity to do this, to have a day like this, I urge you…do it. Say yes. Follow like-minded souls and sign up to be in their presence. And follow Sarah Scarborough- @tea_huntress- if you’re in the Nashville area. I promise you want to be a part of what she’s doing. At the end of our retreat, she decided to have it be an annual celebration. Starting next year it’s going to be called “The Sunna Gathering.” Meet me there?

Meet My Little Wild Loves

October 2, 2020 by Rebecca Leave a Comment

Ahhh these are my babes. The reason this whole thing exists. And really my whole life and heart. I’m sure like any parent, I could post a thousand pictures here- of them sleeping, eating, playing, as newborns, in the bath, in the car. But I’ll spare you- because I’m also sure I’m the only one who thinks that’s interesting. So I’ll just share a few current moments.

These two little girls are my sun, my moon, my stars, my heartbeat. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I didn’t understand just how complete they would make me until they were here, in my arms. They have both truly healed me so deeply- that I did not expect. This is a tad early for such raw information about me here, but here goes…anxiety and depression have been a part of my being and life since I can remember. They have ruled my life at times, freezing my ability to be the soul I am inside. There is a moment so vivid in my memory before even trying to get pregnant- I was having a deeply anxious day when my husband came home to find me crying. I just did not know how I was ever going to be able to have children and successfully take care of them when I can have days where I’m so frozen. A person incredibly dear to me recently told me she was on the fence about having children one day because of her same issues. And man! What a powerful moment this was for me…because in that moment I flashed back to that moment with Blake, sobbing with a broken heart. And I realized how deeply I had been healed by having children. I gave this person my understanding and responded by saying that I had felt that way once too but that becoming a mother was the most beautiful and healing thing I could have done for myself. I am still here, in all my glory. But I am now here, on this Earth, for two other little souls. And my demons, while they still lurk, don’t have space and room in my life. My wild love for my daughters is too big for anything else to exist.

And that brings us to my girls. Charlie. Tessa. My babes!

Meet Charlie- this girl. Charlie bunny. Charlie girl. Bunny boo. Boo Boo. As I write this, she is 3.5. She is me. I am her. She made me a mama. She introduced me to a whole new level of living and loving. A few moments after she was born, Blake had her wrapped up, holding her for the first time. I was repeating, “Charlie, we did it!” after quite a grueling birth. He held her up by my face and she licked my cheek. That was it- total goner. Her full name is Charleston Liv. Charleston is where Blake and I honeymooned and it’s one of our favorite places on the planet. Charlie was always our girl name, we didn’t even talk about it when we found out we were having a girl. Charlie it was, and Charlie she so is. I had a dream many, many years ago of a little curly haired girl in a red dress running up to me and Blake, hugging us as we twirled around. My little love, saying hi to me in my dreams all those years ago, knowing I was meant to be her mama some day.

She is, perhaps at first glance to a stranger, quiet and shy. But oh her little soul lives so brightly. Animal lover, nature explorer, artist, dancer. She is goofy and silly and truly has me cracking up all day. We have been connected like two soul buds since she made her debut on this Earth. As an infant, she would sob if I even so much as stubbed a toe. She’s always been incredibly inquisitive, intuitively kind and caring. Although cautious in many ways, there is an adventurer in there and she’s the kid that will ask to try the beet I’m cooking, always wanting to try new experiences. She’ll also fix the corner of a rug if it’s not just right- which is a little terrifying to see yourself so oddly reflected in a little being. She has always appreciated the beauty of life, excitedly pointing out the sun and moon shining. She’ll dance in the car, she loves a good beat and the girl lives on fruit. Road trip warrior. Iced coffee and tea lover (no really). Man, has she taught me to slow the heck down and liiiiive. Our picnics, our tea dates, our library story times, our adventures have allowed me to look at this beautiful life and girl right in front of me and say life is now. It’s now. It’s these moments that make a beautiful, collective life lived. Now I’ll say, “Charlie..you my special girl??” And every time she’ll reply back, “You’re my special girl, mama.”

And just when you think your heart couldn’t POSSIBLY get any bigger…like, where will the love for a second child fit in here?? A second little soul comes to make you a mama again. And your heart, in an instant, says, “Come on! I’ve got room! It’s beautiful in here!” Meet Tessa. Ah, my Tessa girl. My Tessy bug. Buggy. Buggy bugs. Tessa Rae. This girl, she is happiness and joy in human form. How fascinating it is to have two different humans you’ve created, that are both blends of you and your husband. So similar, yet so different. She’ll be one in exactly two weeks. In the hospital after having her, I remember staring at her, getting lost in her face. To me she has the face of this little angel. When God created her, he said, “This soul is going to be how I reflect joy back to all who know her.” Her smile is the cutest thing I have ever seen. If you even so much as GLANCE in her direction, she lights up with a smile. And she’s just the happiest little thing. Even as a baby, she just loves life. She squeals with excitement as you walk out her room and down the stairs after sleeps because she just.can’t.wait.to.see.what’s.going.to.happen. Man, it’s cute. And contagious. I’ve often described her as having FOMO worse than any one I’ve known. She has to be a part of it all, doesn’t want to miss any life-giving moments. She’ll turn her body sideways to peek around the corner to see what’s going on in the other room. She also dances the second a song comes on and we have had many a dance party with the four of us already. She ADORES her sister. And she makes us all happier, just to know her, just to be in a little of the brightness of her light. Not that I want to want life to hurry up at ALL- seriously, please someone, invent something that makes children stop growing up- but I can’t WAIT to see how her personality and soul develop.

Blake knew that he was meant to be a daddy of only girls. It makes so much sense for us. I find it an honor to raise girls. To empower them, to teach them their beauty. Guide them to be strong, soft, kind, humble, confident, world-changers. And I couldn’t be more grateful for their existence and for the love and depth they have given to my life. They’re my girls. And oh my god, do I love them wildly.

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